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The decision to separate from your spouse or partner is an incredibly difficult one and even more so when young children are involved. For parents of very young children, the prospect of all the missed milestones, holidays and time that are inevitable can be overwhelming.
It is important to take special considerations into account when crafting a successful co-parenting plan and separation agreement for these specific scenarios in order to create a better situation for the child. Here, we will present several key elements to consider when creating such a plan.
This is a marathon, not a sprint
Though it may feel like it, separations involving very young children are not meant to be the end of their parent’s relationship. In fact, due to their age, it is likely that their parents will still have to interact often for many years to come.
Crafting a plan that takes the long-term reality into account is essential for ensuring a productive co-parenting relationship over the years. This includes agreeing on which activities both parents should be included in, how communication between them will occur, and how major decisions relating to the child will be made.
Keeping the future in mind is necessary to ensure that neither parent is taken advantage of and that the best interests of the child are always kept at the forefront.
When drawing up a successful co-parenting plan for very young children, it is best to focus on shared responsibility.
Both parents should aim to share the physical, emotional, and financial burden of raising the child as equally as possible. This includes :
- taking turns taking care of the child if either parent needs to travel for work,
- splitting costs for extra curricular activities,
- being mindful of each other’s parenting approach and preferences,
- and discussing any relevant matters in advance and reaching mutual agreements.
If parents are able to look beyond the issues that caused their separation and instead prioritize the wellbeing of their child, they can form a strong team that works towards a common goal: providing the most supportive environment possible for their child.
Maintaining open communication is key
Open and honest communication is critical when it comes to successfully co-parenting very young children. The parents must provide each other with regular updates on the child’s medical, educational, and emotional development.
They should also keep each other informed of upcoming events, including recitals, school performances, and doctor’s appointments. Working together to provide a consistent line of communication for the child is essential for creating a positive and secure environment for them.
Regularly scheduled check-ins (ideally, monthly or bi-monthly) between parents is also beneficial for discussing any changes to the overall plan, addressing concerns, and making sure everyone is on the same page.
Make visitation schedules flexible & fair
In most cases, it is best for very young children to live primarily with one parent and visit the other on a set schedule. When setting up visitation schedules, it is important to consider the unique needs of the child and make sure the arrangement is practical.
By law, each parent has equal rights to the child, so the hours spent with each parent should be as equitable as possible.
Additionally, the schedule should be flexible enough to accommodate holidays, vacations, trips, special occasions, and last minute changes.
Seek professional help when necessary
In some cases, it may be beneficial for former partners to seek guidance from a professional therapist or mediator to help facilitate the creation of a healthy co-parenting plan.
Such experts can help parents identify potential conflicts, resolve disagreements, and come up with strategies for communicating openly and effectively.
Additionally, they can provide valuable advice regarding child custody and visitation arrangements. Finally, they can offer suggestions for maintaining a respectful and harmonious atmosphere between parents.
All in all, although the decision to separate from a partner when you have a very young child can be a complicated and emotionally charged one, it is important to remember that the end goal is to create the most positive environment possible for the child.
Taking into consideration the various items discussed above can help parents craft a successful co-parenting plan and separation agreement that allows them to put aside the past and come together to provide the best possible support for their child.
